Red Light, Green Light
From PBS to Roblox: A parent's research-informed guide to technology use for Elementary-aged kids
If you're a parent to an elementary-aged child in 2025, and you're paying attention at all, you probably spend a significant amount of time thinking about how to best approach technology with your kids.
Tech is evolving faster than we can study it, and the lack of longitudinal studies makes it hard to make informed decisions. There are no studies on the long-term effects of TikTok on the brains of 12-year-olds, because it's only become popular in the US in the last few years.
Most guidance out there relies on vague terms like "moderation" and "quality content." What does that even mean when you're standing in your kitchen at 5 PM with a tired 7-year-old?
Here is my current approach for thinking about technology use for kids aged 5-10. I'll cite research where it exists, but much of this comes from my own experiences and observations—trial and error in our household—since solid research is still catching up. This is my thinking as of September 2025. (These guidelines work for 5-10 year olds; toddlers and teens need different approaches.) I'm not claiming perfection here; we've had our share of slip-ups, like the time I let a quick video turn into an hour-long distraction just to get dinner on the table. But documenting what we're trying helps me stay accountable, and I hope it sparks ideas for you.
They're watching you constantly. Every time you check your phone during dinner or scroll while they're talking, you're teaching them that devices matter more than people.
These are our ground rules, based on extensive research—if you take away nothing else from this post, please adopt these practices:
Don't be a hypocrite. Model the behavior you want to see. I've caught myself checking my phone absentmindedly too many times, and it's a wake-up call when my kids mimic it.
No background screens. Silence builds focus. Do not let the TV sit on in the background while they do other things (play, draw, etc). This takes away from the development of patience and focus, and robs them of the mental downtime where creativity flourishes. Research consistently shows background TV disrupts play and attention (Harvard 2008, Georgetown 2014, and multiple others).
Limit your tech support. Let them struggle productively. I resist jumping in when they can't figure something out—it builds confidence, even if it means a few frustrated tears.
Pay attention to your child's response to screen time. Watch for addiction signals. Every kid is different; if they're begging or getting angry when it's time to stop, you need to cut it off. I've had to pause certain apps because the pull was too strong.
Okay, let's dig into it. I've split this into "green light, yellow light, red light" as a handy reference. But always check your kid's reactions—if any activity sparks compulsive behavior, switch it to red and adjust.
Green Light
These are okay as much as they want, without interfering with life.
Video/phone calls with family or role models. I've ordered these Tin Can phones for the kids—I'll report back next year on how they work in practice.
Mouse-based, non-algorithmic computer time. This is tough to find, which is why I'm building Cloudberry OS, but for now, we use an old ThinkPad with Linux, TuxPaint, and GCompris—offline only. The clunkiness builds skills; our kids have gotten creative with it, though setup took some trial and error.
Music. We use a Yoto player or, for our 8-year-old, Siri on a filtered HomePod for specific songs. I'm experimenting with a home media server for better quality—stay tuned for updates on that.
Yellow Light
These are okay in moderation—here's how we handle it practically.
Touchscreen usage. Trackpads and mice are called "abstract input devices," where a touchscreen is a "direct input device." Using abstract input devices requires us to manipulate an object on one plane, while observing the effect on another. This wires our brain for better spatial reasoning and improves cognitive development. Touchscreens make it EASY to interact with our devices, but easy isn't the goal, growth is. When it's EASY, it's easy to develop addiction.
Content consumption. This is the big challenge. Our framework:
Movies: 1-3 per week, depending on what else we have going on. We rent DVDs from the library (no streaming) to avoid endless options. We watch together—popcorn, no phones, full attention. It keeps me from approving junk, since I'm sitting through it too.
PBS Kids: 30 minutes at a time, 1-3 times weekly, after chores and outside play. No algorithms here, and pretty solid quality content, so it's safer. I listen in while doing dishes, but I'm not too worried about what they're going to come across.
YouTube/Other Content: Extremely limited, supervised, and tied to learning—like a quick video on the sun's size after a chat. Never alone—the algorithm can spiral fast.
Games/Consumption. Mostly for travel, like PBS Kids games on long trips. We set budgets (e.g., 2 hours for a 6-hour drive) and enforce them. If withdrawal signs appear, we pivot to books or car games.
Easy isn't the goal, growth is. When it's EASY, it's easy to develop addiction.
Red Light
We fully avoid these—no exceptions in our house.
Algorithmic platforms. They drive addiction, limit exposure, and push fringe content. No direct access to YouTube, Spotify, Netflix, or Disney+ for the kids.
Games with in-app purchases (beyond subscriptions). These mimic gambling with reward loops. We skip Roblox, Candy Crush, Fortnite, etc.—even without real money, they rehearse addiction.
Even if kids can't actually buy tokens, the cycle of 'craving / reward / depletion' is still rehearsed—they're practicing addiction.
Screens before school. They mess with attention; mornings are for routines, not distractions.
Screens while eating. Screens at meals disrupt kids’ ability to notice hunger and fullness cues, leading to mindless overeating, and they replace the family conversations that build connection, language, and emotional regulation. Research shows children eat more calories when watching TV, and they’re less engaged socially. Meals are one of the strongest protective routines for kids—keep them sacred, screen-free.
Screens before bed. Even short bursts of screen use before bed suppress melatonin, delay sleep onset, and overstimulate the brain, making quality rest harder. Children who use devices at night consistently get less and lower-quality sleep, which impairs memory, mood, and attention the next day.
Social media. Not healthy for developing brains—period.
The red light, yellow light, green light model is not perfect—nothing is when it comes to parenting and technology. But it gives you a clear, memorable framework to make decisions in the moment without getting lost in vague terms like “quality” or “moderation.”
Most importantly, remember that your kids are watching you. Modeling intentional tech use is far more powerful than any rule you set. Keep mornings, mealtimes, and bedtimes sacred. Protect shared experiences. Treat screens as tools, not pacifiers. And when in doubt, ask: Is this activity building my child’s patience, creativity, and resilience, is it just giving me a break from parenting, or is it feeding an algorithm and triggering an addiction response?
That simple question is often enough to know whether it’s a red, yellow, or green light.